“When men step into our role as compassionate warriors, we become unstoppable.  It’s the only way to live – and it’s what the people around us desperately need.”     Victor Marx, author

Self-aware is Self-Care                            

This is an excerpt from Leah Hadley, Founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions:

“ When you’ve been living in conflict, walking on eggshells, or feeling invisible in your own marriage for years, a moment of basic peace or a slightly kinder interaction can feel enormous.  And so you stay. Or you slow down. Or you accept something as “good enough” that you never would have before the process started wearing you down.  This is one of the most important things I want you to hear: exhaustion is not a compass. When you’re depleted, your brain starts measuring progress against rock bottom instead of against what you actually deserve. And decisions made from that place often don’t hold up once you’ve had time to breathe, rest, and rebuild.”  Ms Hadley recommends  building a strong support system during the divorce process.  Legal, financial, emotional, medical, trusted friends “to help you stay anchored to your real standards when the process is trying to grind [you] down”.

CCSF does not endorse Intentional Divorce Solutions as our position is not to advocate for divorce, but to keep you safe.  However, the articles in their blogs are informational and uplifting. And the above excerpt is right-on. We bring this to you to further shine light on the need for self-care when going through difficult life circumstances. LK

Sarah, Striving to Thriving

When Sarah met Steve, she thought she had found her soul mate. He was handsome, charming and  said he had a great job with a tech firm. They were married after a whirlwind romance. When Steve began staying out for days and refused to explain his absences, quitting multiple jobs and verbally abusing her, she was devastated and lonely. Steve stayed out for days at a time, and Sarah knew something was wrong. She never imagined that their marriage would be ending, but one day Steve announced that he wanted a divorce.  Fifteen years had passed, and Sarah was by herself and devastated by a contentious divorce that went on and on.

Sarah found herself alone in their home, unable to get out of bed, let alone go to the job that she had once loved. Her life was flat, and she was so depressed that she thought of ending her life. She fell into a depression, and she needed a way to take care of herself. Her friend suggested some activities that Sarah could begin with – starting slow and working towards hope and a new beginning.

Here are some ideas Sarah found on the internet, from her friend, and a support group that was recommended to her:

•  Allow for Grief: There are days when it is natural to grieve and be sad because divorce is the death of a marriage. Let yourself be sad- sadness is normal.

•  Redefine Identity: Make a list of who you are and try to think of ways you are special and unique. It is okay to build back the person you once were;  it is not selfish.

•  Physical: Getting sleep and eating right will give your body new energy. Exercise.

•  Emotional/Mental: Give yourself to introspection with journaling, using those who support you to help you tell your story; give yourself time to read and develop a new perspective,

•  Social: Develop a circle of friends who understand or share your story.

•  Structural: Create a daily routine and stick to it.

There are many more ways to move forward and recognize and celebrate small successes along the way to healing. Sarah was able to begin again after a long road to recovery. There is hope after divorce. She began a new life, giving herself space and time and is now thriving with new skills, friends, and employment. CL

Book review

The Dangerous Gentleman: A Call For Men to be Courageous in a Culture of Fear, by Victor Marx, Onesimus Publishing, 2024.  America is in a war – an internal battle between good and evil with society crumbling at our feet. With every institution we once relied on now eroded, there is no one coming to help. Victor Marx believes politicians aren’t going to save people, neither are law enforcement or public schools. Instead, he advocates for restoration of the family unit as God intended, led by fathers and a generation of dangerous gentlemen who believe that without courage all other virtues fail.

High- risk missionary and evangelist Victor Marx lays out a battle plan for men to lead the fight to rebuild our culture, families and churches along with stories of his life’s journey that took him from an abused child left for dead to rescuer of the weak and traumatized.

A former Marine, Marx has followed God’s call to the far corners of the globe to provide assistance to the least of these – including widows and orphans of ISIS fighters – despite the danger. What he’s learned along his journey he provides in these pages with his trademark humor and humility. He invites men along for the adventure of a lifetime.  Amazon Review

Scripture Verse

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”   Psalm 103:13  NIV.     CCSF acknowledges this may be a difficult concept to understand for those who have suffered at the hands of their earthly father and have little concept of a loving father.  But there are more fathers who are good fathers, who are kind and loving.