“Freedom isn’t free.” 

Credited to US Air Force Colonel Walter Hitchcock of the New Mexico Military Institute in Roswell, New Mexico.

July, the month we think about Freedom!

For most of us, getting out of a toxic relationship cost us dearly.  In this month’s enews we will hear the meaningful things three women learned in their struggles for their own personal freedom, the price they paid and the sacrifices they made.

Canada Recognizes a New Tort of Intimate Partner Violence

The Supreme Court of Canada has recognized a new tort as a distinct legal basis for civil claims, which allows victims to seek damages for coercive and controlling conduct in an intimate partner relationship. The ruling allows victims of abuse in romantic relationships to seek damages for harms that go beyond physical or psychological injury, focusing instead on the coercive control and loss of autonomy that characterize such relationships. The new tort recognizes the effects on dignity, autonomy and equality within an intimate relationship.

A tort is a civil wrong that causes someone to suffer loss or harm, resulting in legal liability for the person who committed the act.  Unlike crimes, which are prosecuted by the government to punish the wrongdoer, torts are private lawsuits where the victim seeks monetary compensation.  AI Compilation, with CCSF edit.

For an in-depth reading, see the May 15th publication from Battered Women’s Support Services.  LK

What We’ve Learned

This July, just as we look back on this country’s 250 years of freedom, and ask ”what have we learned”, many of us look back on our marriages, and say “what did I learn from by domestic violence experiences?”  From some friends who have been divorced 5, 20 & 40 years:

• If someone can’t take no for an answer, that’s a red flag
• I’m still trying to own being a survivor, not a victim
• The “stuff” isn’t worth fighting for
• The house isn’t worth fighting for
• I can be a whole person without a spouse
• I am worth the expensive divorce
• God died for me, not my marriage
• No matter how angry or frustrated I am, never say something I will regret.
• It’s OK to accept help.

Book Recommendation

Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to the One Who Will Make Your Life Hell, by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter. If hindsight is 20/20 vision, dating radar is x-ray vision. Why do so many of us commit to the wrong person? Most believe that attraction and compatibility are the keys to relationship success when, in reality, these are red flags in 15-20% of the population. When it comes to love, the brain is irrational and shortsighted. We make decisions based on incomplete information, biased understanding, and strong emotion.

Love truly is blind. That’s why you need dating radar―it gives you a way to detect hazards you might otherwise miss by recognizing:

1.    Warning signs of certain personalities that can spell love relationship danger

2.    Ways that they can jam your radar (deceive you)

3.    Where your own blind spots might be

Attorney, mediator, and social worker Bill Eddy and relationship expert Megan Hunter use their expertise in high-conflict personalities, complicated relationships and divorce to equip readers to see through the blinding spark of new love and spot potential toxic relationships before it is too late!  ~ Amazon Review.  This is an excellent resource for all ages, when dating.  Be careful, you are worth it!  CCSF team

Scripture Verse

And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”   John 8:32