“Did you know that butterflies rest when it rains, because the rain damages their wings.  It’s okay to rest during a storm in life, you’ll fly again when it’s over.”  Author unknown

Resilience and Domestic Violence Outcomes

What is resilience? The definition of resilience is defined on Google as the ‘ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events. Being resilient does not mean you never experience stress, emotional upheaval and suffering. Resilience involves the ability to work through emotional pain and suffering’. How does it affect the fabric of our lives when we encounter challenges and crises?

Here are some suggestions that will make a difference in difficult times:

•  Look for a network of people you know and reach out to them to assess their understanding and if you can depend on their support in any form.

•  Look at the actual problem and see (through other voices if necessary) if there are ways to moderate your thinking into less extreme wording.

•  Celebrate small victories when taking decisive steps towards your goals and pat yourself on the back as a personal accomplishment.

•  Talk to professionals about the problem – always a good way to get more information and helpful perspective.

•  Maintain hope and optimism in the future and not focus on fear and negative thoughts is a mindset to nurture in yourself.

•  Take care of yourself physically and emotionally during challenging times. Find ways to enjoy life even for moments at a time. Even during hard times, God does provide moments of joy even in the most difficult times. CL

SAFE Tax Filing Act

“In June, Senator John Cornyn, Senator Catherine Cortez Masto, Senator Joni Ernst and Pennsylvania’s U.S. Senator John Fetterman introduced the Survivors Assistance for Fear-free and Easy Tax Filing (SAFE Tax Filing) Act of 2025.  If passed, the SAFE Tax Filing Act would help people who have experienced intimate partner violence to independently file their taxes and receive their refunds, without needing to contact their abusers and in the process face further physical or financial abuse.

We applaud the introduction of this law, and hope Congress will pass the SAFE Tax Filing Act and protect federal funding for domestic violence organizations.  Breaking free from the cycle of abuse and rebuilding is a process – survivors deserve access to life-saving services at every step of it, and these services must have stable funding.

Please tell your Senators to support this legislation and funding for domestic violence services!  Call the U.S. Capitol switchboard to be connected directly to your Senators office – (202) 224-3121.”   A statement from Women Against Abuse, June 2025             

From a survivor of abuse who was impacted by this tax information, she shared that she thinks it would have made her first tax filing (while separated and the divorce not finalized) go much smoother as she did have tax filings held up by the abuser who used it as another means to exercise power and control over the situation. This is a vulnerable area when leaving someone who has Narcissistic and/or Borderline Personality Disorder.

She encourages you to make sure you understand that if you file single instead of married you might be taxed at a higher rate. However, it might be worth the peace of mind and less hassle to protect yourself from another area your abuser can impact your life rather than putting yourself through more interactions with them.  The trade-off of receiving a smaller tax bill or smaller return may also be worth the extra costs to your tax accountant in dealing with a difficult person.  It sounds like a great idea, and we admit that we do not know the details at this time, but wanted to put forth some considerations that are always timely in deciding between your peace of mind and boundaries versus money in dealing with an abusive person. WW

Resources Update

We recently updated the Resource list on our website: ccsfnewhope.wordpress.com.  The CCSF team is grateful to you for receiving our enews and hope it makes an impact in your life or someone you know. We have heard from many over the years that our Resource list and Recommended Book list has been helpful to them to use or pass on to someone dealing with a domestic violence situation in any one of the many forms. Please check out our website:  ccsfnewhope.wordpress.com, to see our most recent information and as always feel free to pass it on to your Pastors, Women’s Directors and anyone else it could help! As much as we’ve tried to make this list comprehensive, we know business and organizations are always in flux.  We will continue to add new resources as we become aware of them and update contact information when we become aware of changes.

Diddy Combs

Let’s not forget the Sean Diddy Combs case!  What have we learned as people glued to social media recently to hear the final outcome?  According to Amanda Kippert with domesticshelters.org : “The verdict in Diddy’s case is a loss for brave survivors willing to speak out.”  The depths of depravity can go very deep and are often ignored where the law is concerned. A statement by the court addressing the depravity, whether within or outside the purview of the case, would have done a great deal for those suffering at the hands of abusers.

But on the positive side, we applaud the tremendous courage of those women who came forward to publicly testify to the abuse they suffered at the hands of Diddy Combs and those who were in so many ways complicit with him.  And we were reminded that it is possible for those who have been abused to have a fulfilling life, someday, after they are away from the abuse.  LK

Another Hollywood Victim

Our prayers are for actress Denise Richards’ who recently came forward with claims of abuse against her husband Aaron Phypers.  This is a reminder that abuse can happen across all cultural, income, educational, racial, social strata and sexual orientation.  There is hope. There is help available. And there are people who will believe you. LK

Just One More Thing

Reminder, October is Domestic Violence Awareness and Prevention month.  Above and beyond what you are already doing on behalf of survivors, is there just one more thing you can do to raise awareness about Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Violence/Family Abuse?  Here’s an idea:  DV Awareness yard signs are available for order through Jet City Printing on Bothell Way in Kenmore.  They have the template for signs that we have ordered through them and currently cost $39.50 per sign/ 5 signs for $109/ 10 signs for $190.  See our website for a picture of the signs in our new Gallery section, which we expect to have in place next week.

Scripture Verse

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.  Galatians 5:1, KJV